Linnetontheleaf

Today I received a precious gift — a comment on my blog! Complimentary too! I am insanely pleased. Maybe this will provide the inspiration to devote more time, energy and HONESTY to this project. I hereby pledge to make an effort to do that. Thank you, reader — often it is these little kindnesses, simple confirmations of fellow feeling, that make the biggest difference in the lives of others.

Dear Gussie, I am not as good at this as I imagined I would be.  Partly because I’m busy, but so is everybody so that’s no excuse.  Partly because I don’t know what I’m doing here and am too lazy to learn.  Partly because I’m ambivalent about the whole enterprise.  Yes, I thought I wanted to blog, but now that it’s possible, I’m discovering an unsuspected love of privacy!

This is the second arena recently in which I’ve discovered a real fear of intimacy lodged in my character.  I have a gracious southern lady sort of manner, but I am really holding you at arm’s length.  I don’t know why.  I also don’t know why this should be a recent discovery, but I really didn’t suspect this of myself until recently.

But, soldiering on, as long as I’m here — Spain was spectacular.  We were blown away by the quality of everything — the art, architecture, food.  What a revelation (and how ignorant of me not to suspect such treasures).  Now, tthe summer passes, and the children come and go, to and from camps and other activities.  My husband and I flirt with empty-nestedness, which doesn’t really suit me a bit, though I cope.  In a few weeks, some of us are off to London, which is certainly a very good thing, if it doesn’t break the bank, which it very nearly did last time!  I garden half-heartedly in the heat.  I dash to the town pool to cool off.  I paint pictures — peppers and chard. 

Life should be sweet, but I’m blown off-course by something — some consequence yet hanging in the stars?